That subject hits a nerve with me. I want to channel it back to my first reading of Wild at Heart or Barbarian Way, but I think it happened before that. I’ve just grown sick and tired of posers. And I try harder and harder to rid myself of anything fake about myself.

And if people aren’t happy with what they see, too bad. I get validation from one source, and one source only.

i think the best christians are the ones that are authentic and real and vulnerable at all times…. they are the ones that display grace more than the rest of us prideful fakers!
and, unfortunately, today’s youth can see right through religious posers…. they are looking for something real.
blessings on your ministry

I think your young person there “gets it” and many of us in the Church do not. Unfortunately, more and more youth are looking at the Church and they see we don’t practice what we preach so they seek elsewhere for authentic spirituality.

I wonder where Christians got the idea that we have to pretend to be perfect? Where did we get the idea that we can’t mess up and be honest about it? I have been struck lately by the obvious imperfection of the people we read about in the Bible. The Holy Spirit is extremely honest about people. Abraham totally messed up –more than once. And God calls him a friend. David messed up, big time. And God calls him a friend. And on and on and on. Why are we so tough on ourselves (and each other)?

Thought-provoking post, Stuart, and insightful comments, all. Lately the scripture “become as little children” has been weighing upon my heart. I am realizing that we can read the scripture specifically addressed to “little children” and God will use that understanding to change us. But I am concerned. Is that all there is to it? I mean, haven’t we honestly so excluded young people from everyday Christian life - in church and out - that we can’t possibly really know what they see when they look at things and why they see it that way? I’ve been wondering if we don’t have to take a giant step back and begin looking at and listening to young people, earnestly and at every opportunity; to begin to learn how they see and hear and understand Christianity and the lost and us; and through that to begin to have an “Oh, I see” experience that will help us to become like little children. Just some thoughts about what I’ve been sensing lately, and how your post and the comments shared here seem to echo some of that.

Blessings.

Your Friends at Nameless, Faceless Love

Great quote Stuart. Authenticity is so desired and yet seems so far away from most people. If we are ever going to reach young people and connect them with who Jesus is we must be real with them. That means being able to share our own struggles, pains, hurts, and failures.

Of course there needs to be some limit to how transparent we are as leaders - some struggles are meant to be shared with an accountability partner and not necessarily to your whole youth group. The desire is to be real, not so much so that we freak them out or send them running from the building.

Yeah, I definitely don’t want to be one of those people who meets someone and five minutes later, I’m vomitting every gory detail about my troubles and my problems all over her. I’ve met people like that, and that tactless, social-skill-less transparency isn’t exactly my goal.
But I do think there is a difference between sharing every trouble and struggle with the people you’re leading and acting as if you have no struggles. I’ve known ministers or leaders who speak of their own struggles in very real ways without going into all the details.

The highest compliment my pastor’s wife ever gave me was to say, “Jenn, the thing I can always count on about you is -what you see is what you get. You say what you think and you’re honest about your struggles.” This was after I’d done the devotion at a ladies’ meeting and told about how I really struggled with being content in my small home and the things God had been teaching me. When I teach, I often end up sharing how I’ve messed up and God has taught me through it. I don’t always plan it; but it’s how I most often do learn. I guess I mess up a lot.

Brings John Eldredge’s “nice guy” theory to my mind.
Great post and blog.