I received a call yesterday from someone in our community. He was calling to express his disapproval of me for a decision I have made.
You see, I’ve been asked to be the best man in one of our (Youth Dynamics) former student’s wedding. He’s a young man that’s been raised in the church, but never seen it for anything more than overbearing rules held by hypocrites. I’ve journeyed for a season with this young man and I really value some of the frank conversations about faith we’ve had. He knows where I stand and I know where he does. Our relationship has been a continuing conversation that I hope someday will grow into a lasting faith in Christ. All of that is fine and well, but here’s the kicker and reason for the phone call… he’s marrying a Mormon girl.
This is the point of contention that I’m being attacked over. They say that if I stand with him, I’m blessing this ‘unholy union’ and it ruins my witness and my ministry. They also told me that I will lose financial support from local churches and people who support me and my ministry.
My decision to stand up with this young man in his wedding was borne from my love for him and continuing desire to see him and his bride come to know Christ. My desire is to see the lines of communication open, not bridges burned. Am I condoning his actions? Nope. He knows that I don’t approve of the marriage, but also knows I love him.
We as Christians are often times so concerned with being right, that we forget to be kind. I just don’t think we’ll ever guilt or judge people into heaven. It doesn’t work that way. If we, as Christians, are to be Christ to an unbelieving world, how are we supposed to act? Judgmental or loving? Which one will show them Jesus’ true nature toward us? I firmly believe that by being a part of this couple’s lives, I’ll have a better chance of witnessing to them.
Let’s get this straight. We’re all depraved. We’re all sinners. And if we’re Christian, we’ve really done nothing to earn the saving grace of Jesus Christ. It was a free gift. So it’s a futile thing to draw line in the sand, trying to point out how we’re on one side and non-believers are on the other. We’re just fooling ourselves. The only one with the right to draw a line is Jesus, and NONE of us will ever measure up to that. Thank God for his grace, I just wish we could grant it to others.
So, I’m willing to lose face and financial support simply because I think Jesus would do the same.
Enjoy the wedding! I’m sure that most of the people at the wedding at Cana of Galilee were not going to end up following Jesus; yet he blessed them with his presence and first miracle. We pray that God will bless this couple with the greatest miracle of all—salvation! Blessings, Laura
Stuart,
I hope the young people you serve know how lucky they are to have a mentor with such a radical understanding of the gospel.
Laura glad to have you here. I appreciate what you said. I never thought of that story from that perspective.
And Brian, man. I appreciate you.
Good on ya mate!
Stuart,
You are awesome to take a stand such as this. That is why God has called you to work with youth. I know God will honor you for the decision you are making and I’m sure it pleases him. The bible is full of Christian persecution and Paul prepares us for it. I have, and will continue to pray for this couple. GOD IS A BIG GOD!!!
I PRAY THAT GOD’S STRENGTH AND PURPOSE COVERS YOU!
Good for you, Stuart. I believe you are honoring God. And in reading your account, I think the problem this man has is believing that someone who grew up in the church and who could be called a nominal Christian is somehow closer to God than a Mormon girl. Both are lost, so the union isn’t unequal. This boy won’t be unequally-yoked. They both need Jesus, and you are the one person most likely to lead them to Jesus because you are leading with love and trying to imitate the person of Christ for them. Don’t grow weary. You are doing good.
-jenn@myderbe
it’s called grace man. Thanks for living it out!
Great, so now pagans can’t even get married?
We’ll win this country back yet! (please note sarcasm)
John Gram, very funny and good point.
I think it’s great that you’re close enouogh with him that he asked you to be his best man.
~Kelsey
It s going to be awesome and I think that it is great that you are keeping doors open. You know we are called to love and that is what you are doing. Maybe through this they will be able to see Christ through you, through your presence, acceptance and love.
Stuart,
I love your family. If you didn’t participate would they still get married? I would err on the side of Grace and friendship any day. God is using you and I’m proud of your display of the love of Jesus.
Everyone has put it so well. Not much I can say but I am glad he has you in his life. I hope some day he and his soon to be wife will come to Christ and I know it will be because of your continued friendship with him (and her) and the love of God. Must have been a difficult conversation to say the least. : /
As a LDS member, I think you’re doing the right thing (though I know that won’t help your cause). Christ doesn’t want us to give up on each other just because we may not be on the same spiritual level. If it’s any consolation the girl he’s marrying is probably not a very devout Mormon because they usually are only willing to marry in the LDS temple. So you job (Bringing them to Christ as you see it) might not be as hard as you think and people shouldn’t condemn you for doing what you feel is right.
Standing up for what we believe in is hard enough, but doing so in the face of having money withheld is heroic and admirable. That this other person who deigns to call themself a Christian would do this tells me (like you said) that they’re more concerned about being “right” and furthering their personal agenda than they are following the teachings of Christ.
Hats off to you, Stuart.
Now this is just MY opinion, but I personally think you are doing the right thing. I am an LDS convert, but I grew up in a “Christian” home. I found most “Christians” to be hypocrytical and awful people (including my family) When I joined the LDS church almsot 3 years ago they decided to disown me. And this has left me with a very bad impression of Christians. This seems to be what the people in your community expect you to do, and instead you took the high road. I respect you so much for this, especially due to the fact that people look down on you for it! I’m so very glad to know that there are good Christians still out there!
so theres my 2 cents
Steff
Geez, I just re read my comment. I’m not a christian hater like I sound!!!! I’m really just trying to say more people should follow your example!!!!!!