The Pastors wife to my wife (Student Ministry pastor then), “He just doesn’t deserve Heaven or this church!”
What did the offending 8 year old boy do? He spilled Kool Aid (on purpose).

“I think we should just do this, saves us a lot of money.”
Sr. Pastor and Deacon in a business meeting when discussing whether or not we should do something illegal.

“That whole love thing can just go too far…”
A man to me after I preached on how we should treat sinners.

Women just need to shut up and do what the man says. (He wasn’t joking).

Jesus would have wore a suite you know…

~Ok, I’ll stop now. I could do this all day long. Literally.

This is interesting, thanks.

When explaining why we should charge people to get married in our church, some deacons and the associate pastor said, “You don’t understand. People just call us up and want to get married here. They are not affiliated with us. They aren’t members. They just are looking for a church. And we have to unlock the church for them and clean up after them. And they aren’t even affiliated with us. If we charge like the other churches do, some of these people will stop calling and wanting to use our church.”

Yeah, how about “That sermon was pretty good.” Like a sermon is something that’s supposed to entertain me and I’ll evaluate my time at church based on how good a speaker the pastor is. Or how about, “What did you think of church today?”. Again, like it’s a performance to be graded.

“Good to see you” or “I’ll pray about that” when it wasn’t true.

By the way, these are all amazingly dumb things that I’ve said. There’s plenty of dumb things I’ve thought and times where I should have responded to someone else’s dumb remark, but let it slide because I’m too much of a pansy to call them on it.

I heard “Missions is for people that love to travel.” So I guess Jesus forgot to say that in the Great Commission