It’s said that every criticism given must be also tempered with 5 compliments. And in light of my grumpy rant over Mr. Jeremy Camp yesterday, I’ve decided to give him 5 compliments to cover my rant.

I know I offended some, and while I won’t name names… I will though, post a link to their blog here. And also show a picture of me with them here.

So here is my redemptive list of the greatness of Jeremy Camp:

5 Virtues of Jeremy Camp 

1. He and Jesus share the same initials.

2. He Maintains A Well-Groomed Soul Patch.

3. He’s going to heaven when he dies.

4. He’s not a Mormon.

5. He likes U2

[Note: this is not an all encompassing list, I expect there to be more than simply 5 virtues of Mr. Camp. I am just a very busy person and haven't found the time ponder Mr. Camp and to list all of the many other virtues. If you find the time, please feel free to list them in the comments section of this post. The purpose of my original rant was simply to point out my frustration with the bubble gum fluff faith portrayed in much of Christian music.]

First off, let me apologize to you for my post on Madonna.

 I was informed that the news outlet that ran the story on Madonna playing tug-o-war with a missionary couple was WRONG. The story was flat out untrue. So my apologies for running bad news.

Secondly, Madonna deserves my apologies as well. Madge, I was mean, fired-up, and mean spirited - and as it turned out I was wrong as well. I was like Rosie O’Donnell talking about Christians. So I am sorry.

Folks, being a missionary myself, we are a very protective breed. We protect our own. My frustrations flared and you

So the lessons to be learned from this: not all news is good [or correct] news and don’t mess with a missionary [you mess with the bull you get the...]

[and yes I'm aware that the pic is of Michale Richards and he's in a heap of trouble for spouting his mouth off - so I figured I was in the same boat... with just a few less N bombs]

Dear Toe, Yes, you the big one on my right foot. I am sorry. I truly am. I don’t know what I have done or what has exactly brought this on. Maybe I’m being cursed by the gods (I know there’s only one true God, but saying gods sounds all Greek and sophisticated). Either way I don’t know what I’ve done! 

Over the past summer till now, I’ve been on 4 adventure trips. And one each trip you seem to get smashed. Not any of your nine friends, just you. You were first smashed rock-climbing and turned purple. Then weeks later something was dropped on you. I then lost all feeling of you, till I cut off ½ of your nail – leaving you naked and exposed.  I know all of this must have been humiliating. I’ve apologized and we seemed been healing together. Then it happened again. Then again this past weekend. Now you’re purple all over again.  

I don’t know what to say other than I’m sorry and please give me another chance! I’ll trim you more often and keep your hair cut too. I’ll do anything, just don’t leave me!  Your owner, 

Stuart

PS: there is a plus side, they say that purple is the color of royalty and that probably means you’re the king of the toes!