James Delony, my 5 year old son, took his first step towards manhood this week.  He drew blood on his old man. It was amazing.

We were wrestling and running around the house. I was chasing him. He takes a sharp turn into his room and begins to slam the door shut. My head procedes to meet the door full on. Blood and liquid stitches ensue.  At first, James was upset thinking I was mad at him, but after a moment, he looked at the gash. I told him I was okay and congratulated him. Then from that moment on, he had this twinkle in his eye. I think this is the first time he realized that he could be powerful.

So today around the house, he walks a taller and puffs his chest out a bit. The boy is growing up.  He is becoming a man.

Miriam and I are definitely in for it. I can only blame my southern baptist heritage for this. I didn’t realize that being SBC penetrates your DNA… but I guess it does.

So here’ s what happened.

The other day, my wife, enters our den to see something odd transpiring. My daughter, Aida (3yrs), is standing on the couch with my son Samuel (2) and dozens of stuffed animals sitting on the ground listening. She picks up a microphone and proceeds to introduce the “crowd” to my son James (5). Aida sits down, James grabs the microphone and stands on the couch. He begins to ask the kids and the stuffed animals if they know Jesus and launches into a mini-sermon. Then he opens things up for an altar call, asking anyone who wants to accept Jesus to step down front. Many stuffed animals were saved that day.

He’s amazing. I have no idea where he gets this stuff. It’s not like he’s seen it on Sundays at church - he’s always in kids church.  It’s the gotta be the SBC, I tell ya. It’s like a skunk - once you’re sprayed, it’s hard to get the stink off of ya. So we’ve either got a Billy Graham or even next Benny Hinn on our hands… Oh boy!

Yes, you read the title correctly. I’ve just had quite an experience with farts (not mine) this weekend. They have such a power over guys that seems to facilitate male bonding.

Case in point 1: Men’s Biscuts and Gravy Breakfast

We had a Men’s breakfast at our church with guest speaker Jim Horsley a former Blue Angel. I invited some freshmen guys to come. They’re non-churched, but the lure of free biscuits and gravy couldn’t be denied. As in most church events, men come, eat and leave as fast as possible so they don’t have to cleaning up. We needed some extra hands, so I kept the young guys around to help. I usually spend time with them individually and as a group they don’t get along. There was some early bickering until one of them ripped a fart. Then they all broke out in laughter. It became a total gas fest after that. We moved tables and laughed for the next hour.That fart was the ultimate ice breaker. Afterwards, they all decided to go and hang out together. These are guys, who don’t typically like each other, were now bonding.

Case in point 2: Brothers

James (my 5 year old son) has recently learned the art of brown nosing. If you don’t know what a brown nose is, let me explain. It involves getting your butt as close to someone’s face as possible and ripping one. The other day he got in trouble for farting in Aida’s face. So when I went into his room this morning, he and Samuel (my 2 yr old son) were laughing and laughing. James was brown nosing Aida’s baby dolls. He was teaching his brother how to do it too. Ahh, brothers bonding are such an amazing thing.

I’m not quite sure how this could ever fit into a book on youth ministry, but the fart is an unmistakable bonding tool for boys (and men).

Any other unspoken ministry tools that we can’t typically mention?

For more facts on farts, go here… 

I’m so not ready for this! Yesterday, I was driving Aida home and she informed that a boy asked her to marry him. Now, Aida is only 3 years old, but still!

I knew it was trouble when last week in AWANA she lost at musical chairs and this little beau offered her his seat to stay in the game. Then comes this week…. (as she tells it) he walks over to her during juice and crackers and asks her, “are you married?” She replied “No”. Then he said, “we should be married.” Aida luckily didn’t respond.

Next week, I’ll make sure to ask him his intentions with my daughter while I clean my shotgun and sharpen my knife. She may only be three, but as a father… I’m not ready for this!