I read an email from a friend this morning and my heart was broken. He didn’t say much, but he didn’t have to. He shared with me latest chapter of his struggle at a church he’s been pastoring. He was called to pastor an older church and all he’s met over the past few years was grief, abuse and struggle. I sat in my office praying for him and crying for the pain he was experiencing. I’ve watched this happen to him over the past few years at a few different churches. My heart breaks for him and his family. He’s honored me by sharing his journey with me and I’m continually amazed at his heart and his steadfast faith over these years.

I wish this was the only story I’ve heard from people I’ve befriended. What has the church become? I have seen little grace, love and compassion within it’s walls. It has simply become an institutionalized building. A grave reminder of what it was once meant to be.

I’ve also been burned by churches (and one quite significantly). But like my friend, I never saw this abuse as coming from God’s hand. I’ve only seen the Lord shower me in love and grace through the hard these times. This awareness has been key for me. Has the church left a bad taste in my mouth? Absolutely. Has the Lord? Never. And I’ve begun to hate church because of what it has become.
I hate church because of what we’ve made it. BUT, I love the church because of what God created it to be. My passion is to see the church restored to a vibrant, organic body that it once was. I have hope in that. The church is meant to be a glorious thing that changes the world, but we’ve made it something else. It’s become a corporation with four walls to keep some in and the other out. It has become confining, safe and tame.

If you pay attention to Jesus in the gospels, he never treated it as a job, or a career. It was always a passion; a calling. There was no point where his ministry ended and Jesus began. It was his whole being. It was his purpose for existence. It wasn’t pretty. It wasn’t clean, but it was good and completely Godly fueled.

The early church was the same. It wasn’t a club to join. It was a way of life. It transformed lives. It reached out to the poor and needy. It brought God’s love to a broken and hurting world. It was a remedy.

Now, we are people pleasing and program driven business. We are safe and tame. We are no longer faith driven, God fueled, and Christ centered.

I sit alone in my office and weep as I pray for my friend and the church. We have walked so far away from where we were supposed to be. I am grieved. But I am also hopeful that there is a way back.