Yes, it’s true. I’ve tangled with Doug Pagitt today. This was a heated, sordid affair. Let me explain.

On my facebook, Doug Paget (a founder/leader of the Emergent Church and pastor at Solomon’s Porch) sent me a picture of a fuzzy, cuddly puppy. You know the ones I’m talking about. You get them forwarded/spammed from person to person for no apparent good reason. He’s really got some nerve!

I usually just delete them, but this being a fuzzy, cuddly puppy spam from prominent Emergent leader, Doug Pagitt, I couldn’t let this go unanswered. I couldn’t take it. Truth may be relative, but my theology on on spam/forwarding comes strictly from Dr. John “I hate everyone” MacArthur’s book of backhanded pimp slapping. That’s right I sent Mr. Emergent an email referring to him as a dirty “manwhore” and re-forwarded him back with said fluffy, cuddly puppy in triplicate.

Then to make matters worse, Pagitt apologized graciously and went back to yoga and contemplative thinking.

In my anger, I cursed Rob Bell and Brian McLaren, then went down to a street corner to proselytize anyone who walked by. Then I felt justified.

[Note: this post is to be read with thick sarcasm and in jest. Most of the events are true (including fuzzy, cuddly puppy, the interchange, and the graciousness of Mr. Pagitt).]