A rule against physical contact at a Fairfax County [Virginia] middle school is so strict that students can be sent to the principal’s office for hugging, holding hands or even high-fiving.

Unlike some schools in the Washington area, which ban fighting or inappropriate touching, Kilmer Middle School in Vienna bans all touching — and that has some parents lobbying for a change… [MSN]

More here.

Oh, this has gone way too far. It’s ridiculous. Especially when I work with a bunch of guys who frequently break out into sack tapping contests.

sacktap =  a slight and subtle flick of the wrist to  a man’s testicles, causing a delayed, but tremendous pain in the stomach and lower regions. This pain will cause him to fall to the ground in pain and occasionally cry.

Based on the standards in Kilmer Middle School our boys would probably be expelled or put to death by lethal injection.

We’ve tried so hard to shelter kids from life and become so politically correct we don’t know which end is up anymore. There’s a line you cross when you’re so controlling it ceases to become a school and begins to be a prison. Then parents complain their teenage kids are always so ornery and moody. Well, do you blame them?

Any comments?

Luke commented the other day to me:

“I would love to read more on inviting middle schoolers to come more fully alive. I’m not always sure what that means for people in that stage of life. As I see it, most middle schoolers are in process of having so much life beat out of them. From many of the adults I talk to, much time is spent later in life asking God to restore the life that dwelt in them before entering middle school.”

The quick answer: Invest in Them.

Middle School is such a difficult stage in life. Their bodies are changing and they’re seeking their own voice in the world. They’re lost, but will never let on. So they just end up acting grumpy and emotional. What do they need? Adults engaging and investing in them. Most of their parents will begin to write them off at this stage because of their demeanor.

Relations require investment. Investments require time. So look at these kids like you’re in it for the long haul (ie. High School). Middle school is a good time for ground work. The light bulb rarely goes on when it comes to the Lord. But you are setting the stage for it to come on in coming years.

How do you engage them to seek life? That’s much tougher. Life to them has a very narrow focus. They are uber-peer conscious. They don’t think abstractly, so most of their thoughts revolve around personal gratification and survival. So I defer to the mention of investment. They look weird, they talk weird. They are the most awkward creatures on the planet. You know this. They know this. And being their friends in this stage is so meaningful to them. It says I accept you no matter what. That speaks volumes.

Invest, encourage, love these kids. They will see Christ in you. And that will point them to the one who offers them life abundantly.

Any of you have stories of adults that reached out to you during your middle school years? I had one who opened my eyes to the Bible in a way I never knew possible. He was a Sunday School teacher that laid the groundwork for me entering the ministry years later. He was so much more than just a Sunday School teacher. He loved us. He affirmed us. He actually liked us - we could tell. That man impacted me more than any pastor or teacher ever has since and it came at a time in my life when I needed it the most - middle school.

It’s take me too long to give the update on this one, but here goes anyway.

A couple weeks back, we took 9 students on a rock climbing weekend that was an amazing mix of challenges and breakthrough. The weekend was based out of the amazing Stonewater Ranch in Leavenworth, WA and we did our climbing in Icicle Canyon (which is equally amazing).

Leaving Friday, we got caught up in traffic. And with an old suburban filled with middle school guys, it was an odd mix of belches, gas, and laughter. Going deeper with these guys on the ride up wasn’t part of my plan, but it’s always amazing to see God’s hand of providence upon a situation. About an hour in our conversation steered towards heavy subjects. We all shared and discussed the worst pains we’ve ever felt, but physical and emotional. The guys really opened up and shared some deep things. It really set the stage for the weekend.

Saturday was filled with a great day on the rock. We had impeccable weather and lots of students stepping forward and challenging their fears either by climbing or rappelling. It’s awesome to see them conquer something they were certain they couldn’t.

Throughout the weekend we had some really impactful discussion times led by our staff and volunteers. The Lord orchestrated the entire time. It seemed that each speaker fit the mood of the kids for each occasion. Our first speaker Jessica was calm, then came Bronco who challenged them before we went climbing. The kids were pretty wired and crazy Saturday night and that was mine to speak. But who better to kamikaze a message than me! We ended the weekend with Janet really sharing her heart. It’s amazing and odd to actually see middle schoolers engaged and listening (because I don’t see it much!).

When all was said and done we had lots of re-commitments, and 2 guys prayed to accept Christ as their Lord and Savior. Even the kids that were on the fence about the whole Christianity thing have agreed to start meeting with me weekly to discuss what it really means to be a Christian.

Youth ministry is never a pretty thing, but it’s awesome to walk away from a weekend like this feeling that the Lord was there and we were all used for His purposes.

Keep praying for these kids as we continue to follow up with them.

Could I have planned this? No way. God’s spirit was there a move in those students. All the praise is to Him and Him alone.

(A student and I eat some gnarly hot sauce in Leavenworth)

Well I’m off for the weekend, taking a group of middle school students rock climbing!

Pray for safety and our [the leaders] sanity!

See you next week!