After I returned from the Middle School Rock n’ Roll trip, everyone around the house - except me- got sick. When sickness hits like that the routine goes out the window. Kids aren’t sleeping thorough the night. Which means the adults don’t sleep through the night. It just throws everything off.

So this past weekend - all the long weekend - has been a recoup and refresh for the family. Thank God for these past few days off. It never ceases to amaze me that I won’t choose rest, it has to be forced upon me. I’d choose busyness and fatigue over refreshment. I guess I’m just a sadist. But it never fails, I run myself ragged and then God finds a way of kicking my butt and forcing me into a place of rest.

Did any of you have a restful weekend?

[Painting by Carol Aust]

I’ve been feeling bogged down lately. Partly it’s from stresses and burdens I’m carrying. I know that I shouldn’t be carrying them, but here I find myself again with an aching back feeling weighted down and restless. There’s those things in our livesthat seem to plague us. At times we forget they exist, then we get hit again. I let the worries of the world begin to get to me and before I know it, I’ve forgotten who I am. I let myself become defined by my burdens.  Ha! They’re not even my burdens, they’re things like worry, and a lack of faith. They haunt me, they stalk my every move.

Yet I am reminded in Psalm 55:22 “Cast your burden upon the Lord, and He will sustain you; He will never allow the righteous to be shaken.” How often to I find myself feeling like a Bond martini - shaken, not stirred. You’d think I’d get it right every once in a while. I think I need a tattoo: “rely less upon self and more on God, stupid!” Or maybe I’ll just settle for it on a t-shirt.

I find myself asking, “Why oh why God, do I think I can handle life on my own?“ Then I am reminded that we’re all taught to never show weakness. We must always project excellence and competence. The only problem is I’m so often not excellent or barely competent and just hoping no one else notices.

Then 2 Corinthians 2:10 hits me with, “For when I am weak, then I am strong.” So what now, I’m choosing to be weak? Oh great, feeling weak is what got me here in the first place. So I’m tired, weary, weak, worrisome and faithless. I’m also lacking in excellence and competence. So where do I go now God? And that’s the question I should have been asking in the first place.

I feel about like Britney Spears (above) right now. Hanging out for a weekend retreat. I feel like I need to shave my head and enter rehab (and get some tatoos).

19 student + 9 hours of sleep (over 3+ days) = brain dead.

Had a great long weekend retreat with a bunch of high school kids. Amazing things happened, I’m just having a hard time typing at the moment. So when my wits come back to me, I’ll fill all of you in. I haven’t felt this perky since the kids were newborns and didn’t sleep though the night. Thanks for your prayers - we needed them!

 Until then….zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

 PS: Oh and they’re selling Brit’s hair for $1 million dollars!?! Okay, if you’ve got the money and feel like burning it, please reconsider and support a missionary (ME!) and I’ll shave my head and send you the hair!

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